At the beginning of January, I was excited and ready to make 2022 my year of change- it felt special. I was born in the year of the Tiger, and seeing how 2022 was also the year of the Tiger, it felt spiritually aligned.
I remember sitting in our beautiful hotel suite in Jamaica, staring at a blank journal entry; I saw the words: Goals, and nothing was coming up- I was completely burnt-out and setting goals was the last thing I had energy for, I bet you have been there too eh? I walked over to
the mirror, looked at my tired, post covid figure and said, I just want to be 'Happy'.(read my Insta post on it here
I thought about how many new possibilities were waiting for me. I was excited, yet I knew deep down I was scared shitless- and yes, for almost the entire first half of the year, I was crippled with uncertainty and insecurity. Each and every year, I set out big goals for myself... And then I do the same thing: prioritize the work stuff and leave everything else in a chaotic mess.
I thought, why would it be any different this year? I've set goals for the past 10 years but had yet to make significant progress. Here are some examples of those re-occurring goals:
Get in better shape
start my business
write my book
Improve my social circle
Explore my romantic relationships
Learn to play tennis
Read more books
I bet you've also set similar goals and have yet to do much about it.
But don't feel bad — we've all been there- my goals are ambitious, and that's not the problem, but i will tell you what was- my mindset!
I made one very important decision at the begining of 20221 that changed everything. I worked 1-1 with a well-sought after mentor, and with her support and creative strategy I knocked all these goals out in 6 months — goals I've been "working on" for the past 10 years.
And I'll show you how you can do the same.
What changed exactly?
I prioritized my non-material goals. I learned to use my intuition and energy, that meant stronger boundaries and more clarity around yes's and no's.
The traditional way wasn't working for me, I realized I wasted a lot of time, peddling around ideas because of my self-worth- this is what i've come to know, You can learn from your mistakes, save yourself years of wasted time, and make your new year's resolution a reality when you work with a mentor who's sole purpose it to keep you accountable.
The #1 Reason You Fail to Accomplish Most of Your Goals
There's something that I always needed to account for in my goal-setting- support.
Instead of prioritizing these goals, I just put them off as something I would do on top of everything else. I thought of them as "things I'd do when the mom stuff dies down… (surprise, the mom stuff never dies down)
In the thick of motherhood, I felt I had one main job — keep my kids alive and happy- and that's saying a lot without having to say a lot. But I'm not just a "mom" —I had my own goals outside motherhood. For some reason, my personal goals were not essential. My brain just never prioritized anything that felt self-centred or selfish, if i even thought of it I immediately felt shame.
Why are we conditioned to believe that our lives suddenly stop the moment we have kids? Little by little we set ourselves aside until we loose ourselves completely.
The problem is that personal goals take time away from our family needs to achieve those longed-for goals. So we have to be extra creative to make it all work, but creativity takes energy and who the hell has any of that these days?
that's where the mentorship comes in, having a dedicated support person IS an extraordinary support. As independent as we are, as much as we habituate stretching ourselves thin, we ALL need help at one point or another, and we especially need help when we are set on transforming our lives- which everyone benefits from BTW.
There is something that needs to be said here, every season of life requires a different investment of our time.
After my last pregnancy (2017), I wanted to get in better shape, and overall reset my mental health- I had the intention —I found a way to work out more and improve my diet. A few workouts every week, cut out gluten and sugar — that should do it. But it never worked out that way. I had a breast reduction that took over 6 months to heal.... so of course you can guess that I never really took the time to study how to exercise- or understand what type of energy my body needed to release first. My headspace was jammed with mixed signals.
I never did much in-depth research about my postpartum body or how blocked my energy became after a c-section. I didn't experiment with different modalities instead I spent a lot of time blaming my body and hormones and ignored of nurturing it back to health.
Getting in shape was just a vanity quest for me- something that came from my teenage years, it was driven by my ego — I self-sabotaged and couldn't devote that much time to it.
any of this sound familiar?
Are you getting stuck in the yo-yo-ing of your goals with low effort too? stop going about it on your own.
let me ask you this- when you set a goal and jot down a quick and dirty plan for how you're supposed to (hopefully) get there- does your plan ever include the help of others?
If No- no wonder you're not getting any results. And no shame either; we are all guilt of this at some point. We don't know what we don't know!
For most of us, our main focus is work. That's where we spend most of our "on time" — trying to get better at our job, get a promotion, earn more money, build a business, etc.
Then we spend the other part of our day catching up on our other job- motherhood; there is very little time left for having friends/family time and sleep. We devote a smidge of time to our goals, like exercise, building new habits, and learning about ourselves.
But who can actually get anything done with such a small amount of energy?
To accomplish any critical goal, you can't treat it as something you do on the side. You have to devote time to it- the first step is understanding what you need according to your energy type. When my coach introduced human design to me 2 years ago, my whole world imploded- I could finally call out all the resistance, course correct and stay focused on my own path.
my coach taught me- You need to know what you are working with in order to achieve your goals. Learning about my Human Design energy type changed how I set my goals so much so that I continuously upgrade my human design knowledge and work with a 1-1 coach. If you are not ready to invest in a mentor, learning your human design is a small investment that will go a long way for you, here is what changed for me,
Learning Your Energy Type will Knock Out Your Goals This Year.
Once I learned that I am a Manifesting Generator, I used that knowledge to plan my new routines. (learn more about Your Human Design here)
My idea was to prioritize the momentum when i felt hig energy and surrender when I felt tired. Sounds easy right? Establishing a new norm was tough. I had been trading in time for money since i was 12 years old- it was very very challenging to shift- but I did.
I decided to take a 6-month semi sabbatical and treat it as an experiment. Take that extra time and effort to work on all my side goals. The result was mind-blowing.
Looking back at 2022, it has been one of my most productive years in achieving goals and the happiest year I've had so far.
What I Changed in The Last 8 Months
Because I had failed so many times before, I knew I couldn't approach these goals in the same way anymore. I had to make significant changes, not just little tweaks. This year, I had more insight into my energy type and what needed to be done first.
Here are all the strategies I used to make these goals a reality.
Yoga/Meditation/ fitness/ overall wellness
I exercised regularly in the past 10 years and had a relatively good diet. I thought I had plenty of experience in both, but I needed to take the time to learn in-depth. Here are all the different changes that I made to get the results:
Prioritized energy healing- made regular appointments with Reiki and acupuncture practitioners
Read 6+ books on Eastern and Western spiritual traditions.
Completed over 200 hours of Yoga and Fitness lessons.
Used Feng Shui in my bedroom to create a serene environment
I used sage to clear the energy in my home once a week.
Experimented with intermittent fasting, eliminated alcohol
Took extra time to plan and optimize my work schedule.
Got a nose piercing to challenge my perception of fear...
Cut off eating past 7:00pm.
Prioritized getting rest/ allowed me to nap during the day.
All these changes created a massive shift in my energy. I could come out from under the brain fog I was on and lean into others to help me raise my vibration and work with what I was already designed to do. Human Design showed me my energy type and helped me understand how my body desired to move energy. As a spiritual person, I thrive in group energy that shares a common goal. I found a spiritual and challenging environment inside my yoga community.
While I was focused on work/motherhood/school for most of my twenties and thirties, I never got to experience making memories with good friends. I didn't go to many social events, I wasn't a clubber, and by the time I was 25, motherhood entered my life. I only met a few new people; if I did, they rarely turned into true friendships. Most of my interactions were dull and predictable. That was a big part of not wanting to be social in the first place. It just could have been more exciting.
Here are all the changes that I made in that area:
Cut off a few toxic friendships that weren't going nowhere.
Joined online communities with women that had similar interests as me.
let others help with me childcare
Took a road trip with my sisters and one on my own.
Instead of waiting for people to ask me to do things, I signed up independently.
I had been navigating a rocky marriage for some time. A traumatic event will do that to even the most vital relationship. I had to learn how to trust myself and my partner without the constant interruption of my fears getting in the way. After being intimidated by a sexual predator, I dissociated from my body; as a result we had unprecedented challenges to deal with.
And looking back, wow, what a mess.
It lasted about 2 years, and it should have ended sooner. The thing is that we needed to learn how to navigate the energetic shift in our marriage. Once I started learning the importance of breathing work and regulating my nervous system, we were able to find each other again and rekindle our romance. I also found solace in learning about my emotional authority and energy centers and how they differ from my husbands. That was the other thing that created a monumental shift, I not only study my body graph (HD) I study his as well. It has helped us over the hill we were on and allowed us to start from a place of love and compassion, that turned into falling in love once again and renewing our vows.
Here are all the changes that I made in that area:
We text each other each morning with a compliment
We make an effort to schedule regular date nights.
We play ping pong together
We communicate from a place of understanding rather than blame
We don't gaslight each other when we are vulnerable, i.e. if I am moody, he won't blame my hormones and dismiss my feelings.
We celebrate each other's wins and plan our future together regardless of what life throws at us.
we support each other's parenting and maintain one set of rules for our kids
The changes above were significant and required a lot of time and effort to implement. But given my results, it was more than worth it.
For the past 8 months, I have made more progress in these areas than in the last 10 years.
Here's what happened…
Fitness & Mobility
I've always been a curvy woman, and the fact that I'm 5.3 feet tall means my weight gain is easily noticeable. Losing weight has always been a challenge for me. On top of that, I had hormone imbalances and multiple surgeries that held me back.
Here are the results I got:
I gained 6 pounds of muscle.
My body fat dropped by 6%.
Fixed a hunched back caused by working on a computer for years.
Improved my hand/eye coordination, which was underdeveloped due to being legally blind in one eye
Fixed my shoulders and hips, which were stiff from years of holding stagnant energy in those areas
Fired up my sex life :)
This has been, by far, the most socially great year I've had so far. Here are the results:
I have at least 5 solid friends that I can rely on.
The friendships that I have now are much deeper and more enjoyable.
I can go out and have fun any day of the week if I want to.
I got rid of my social anxiety and fear of meeting new people.
I'm SO happy in my marriage now, but here are the other results from the past 6 months:
Experienced more consistent date nights
I'm more confident expressing my needs
I have a much better sense of who my partner is, and I don't labour over his mysterious ways
I trust my partner and myself
I can visualize our future together, and it doesn't make me anxious
How Can you meet your goals in the next 7 months?
I've heard many people talking about how they would love to work on themselves but don't have the time- I disagree; as controversial as that seems right now, hear me out.
Learning your energy type and working with an energy reader is THE solution thinking you have to normalize if you want to achieve your goals. Why? Learning your energy type is not just a practical approach to solution thinking; it also opens the door to cultivating a better relationship with your spiritual self. Your relationship with yourself and your feelings about belonging in this world are what root your energy into your goals.
Once I decided to be intentional about how I invested in learning about myself, everything shifted for the better. I came to realize that the reason why I didn't meet my goals for those ten years had nothing to do with time or money; it was because I didn't feel like I deserved it, let alone belonged to a group of people that achieved what I desired.
I was intimidated by women who were fit because of my learned helplessness around my body and vision- I always felt uncomfortable
I was burnt out and suffered from insomnia because I was stressing my body out by micromanaging my eating habits and working extended hours.
I was unfulfilled in my marriage long before my PTSD because I never worked on the emotional abuse I had been exposed to
I didn't have a good group of friends because I hadn't developed the skills to learn how to trust people and their motives
None of my goals ever really had anything to do with time or money; I just allowed them to be the perfect excuse to keep me from doing the actual work and getting to know myself.
I wasn't working with a mentor who could help me analyze and better support my emotions and goals
Are You Ready to Make a change for actual this year?
If the results above need more evidence, think about your results so far. When have you achieved a big goal in your life?
How did you do it?
Did you write down a quick plan and hope for the best?
Or did you have to set aside the time to study, experiment, and learn from your mistakes?
That's how you achieve big goals — dive in deep and devote enough time to them.
So if you want to be serious about achieving your goals this year, it's time to change something.
It's time to do it more realistically- but with less stress and more insight.
If you are ready to go all in for 2023... I invite you to learn more about The Rattle Collective. Before I even begin to tell you all about it,
If I told you that I created a roadmap that addressed all your goal-setting hesitations, helped you decrease your stress by 30% and increased your energy by another 30% would that help you align with your goals for 2023?